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I ain't heavy, I'm your (Big) brother

Date: 08 August 2007

The Insider is a fleet manager with years of invaluable experience

The cult of the company car enables me to play spy-master without hassle, says the Insider

One of my drivers actually called me Big Brother the other day, an over-reaction after I'd ticked him off for a speeding transgression picked up from the telematics device in his car. I think he actually meant in a Orwellian way, too - although I did threaten to make BB Charley his assistant when she gets kicked out.

In 1984, as I remember it, Big Brother is the face of the party - at once both feared and revered. I can become quite fearsome, it's true, but reverence? I don't think so. The reverence is saved for the object that gives me my power: the car itself.

It's this that lets me and the company have such complete control over the employees who drive. If the Government applied similar controls, there would be mass outrage. But doing so in a company (an organisation that can meddle far more in the lives of the people within) is mostly accepted because of the usual health and safety recommendations, work hours, cost controls etc etc.

“For the love of a new Audi we get to dictate what engine and options they can choose, what body shape and where they can fill it up. Depending on who they are, we control where they drive, for how long and how fast.”

The Insider

For the love of a new Audi we get to dictate what engine and options they can choose, what body shape and where they can fill it up. Depending on who they are, we control where they drive, for how long and how fast. That applies to van drivers more so, but we're definitely looking to fit telematics to all the cars too. And unlike the Government, I'll actually use the information that comes feeding back to me. It helps me do my job better.

The reason I can do this is, I reckon, because we have controlled the cars for so long. Even though they're not free any more, the culture is that the company still has the power to dole out the wheels, and then dictate how they can be used.

It really amazes me that not more fuss is made, but I guess the staff know deep down it's all for the good of the company. And because the company is solely there to make money, they realise there's nothing sinister behind it - or they would do if my room number wasn't 101. Mwah ha ha!



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